direcow:trustfall 1.1

Been busy with my 2 other blogs actually, but since I’m updating to 3.0, thought I’d just say Hi to everybody still here.

Hi!

Since Lennel and Chengwei have been posting about their personality profiles, I thought I’d take a gander and read about what their site has to say about the INFP, my Myers-Briggs profiles since countless ages ago. Had to retake the test on one of them sites, but yep, INFP. Long long post with lotsa words ahead!

But first: Looking at my profile I should be (not in any order):
a) Counselor
b) Religious Teacher
c) Teacher
d) Working in humanities (?)
e) Web Design
f) Musician
g) Literature / Writer
h) Archeology
i) Psychologist

Of which the closest to any science is Archeology and Psychology… I’m screwed.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes you get an idea, and it just eats away at you, and if you leave it festering for too long it’ll eat itself up and all you’re left is the pustulent bile of an idea. The is the result of that process.

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It’s been a while since I last went to the lighthouse. I would jog past it each time I went jogging, which was few and far between. But even then it would stand, resilient against weather, against the waves beating against its base. It wasn’t a very tall lighthouse, neither was it a very old one, being powered by electricity and running unmanned, but it stood as a landmark on the beach – a tall, yellow beacon. People would gather under it when it rained, or meet around it when the sun blazed on the beach.

It’s been a long while since the last murder at the lighthouse. I heard stories of a girl being murdered there even when I was a little boy, and stories of how the girl was murdered would drift in and out of my consciousness each time I jogged past the lighthouse. I never knew the true story behind it, but as I grew up her demise became grimmer – any reason to avenge her death swelling greater with each pass. For the longest time I would refuse to climb the stairs of the lighthouse, for fear of seeing blood stains, apprehensive that I would witness her cold, unmoving body still lying there, unclaimed by man, by nature and by time, waiting to be avenged. I was forced to climb the lighthouse, one day, because a girl I was trying to impress was there – I had to be there to save her if the body was still lying there.

It has been a long time since the lighthouse was really used. Now there’s a larger, brighter, taller one just a short distance away. The ships no longer come so close to shore, and now there’s no reason to warn them away. The ships also got larger, the water shallower, and now the lighthouse stands there, unused. I suppose ships being further out would be a good reason to stop it from being used, its light a poor excuse for a beacon of warning. Even then, I wondered if they stopped using it because of the murdered girl. If she would lean against the barricade on the lighthouse, staring out at sea, searching with piercing eyes for her assailant, and when she failed, dimming the light, forcing ships to crash ashore, so that she would no longer be alone in her misery. When people gather under it, I would, then, wonder if she was trapping people in her tears. Save me, find me, except the rain would wash away the blood-written words, the name of her assailant smeared away.

It took a long time to finally get to the lighthouse. These days even that part of the beach is deserted, traffic rerouted to the newest beach haunts, fake waves replacing real ones, fake beaches replacing old ones. The sand is finer around the old lighthouse, the crowd thinner. I’d nearly taken the wrong turning there, but there was no mistaking the road in, cold, solemn, grey. Even with the sky awash in blue, the brooding spirit of a place once loved now mostly forgotten hung low in the air, suppressing ones mood. The lighthouse was a little off the road, but just a short while after the turning one couldn’t miss it. Creeping along the horizon, the lighthouse welcomed one – but anyone going there would feel as if the lighthouse was still doing its job, trying to warn anybody to come near to turn away.

And it took a long time before I realised the lighthouse was right. Just as I drove in, the alien mothership pierced through the sky, ablaze, the friction of sudden entry and the wounds of a sky battle apparent on its hull. Lasers shot out, going “pew pew”, and then the harsh sounds of fighter jets arrived, missiles launching. Then the sky grew gradually dimmer, and then something snuffed out the sun. My engine died. I stepped out of the car, wondering what was wrong, at which point the lighthouse fired a large beam into the sky and that was the last thing I saw -

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Like I said, best not let something fester for too long.

Just did an “almost free” (free for now) Myers Briggs Test, and it’s pretty cool, because of instead of 1000000 questions, it’s all done in 4, and his method kinda works. Give it a shot!

I can’t remember how this has changed over the years, but as usual they have it almost spot on, generic qualities or not. (A quick search shows INFP for 2006 and 2004.)

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You’re an INFP
INFP

You focus deeply on your values and devote your life to chasing ideals… you often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. You’re creative and seek new ideas and possibilities. You quietly push for what’s important to you, and rarely give up. You might be somewhat gentle or have a good sense of humor, you could be hard to get to know and overlooked by others…you like to make the world more in line with your vision of perfection.

If you’re a teenager, you probably have a bit of a rebellious streak. You might argue with others who hold different values than yourself..you probably have a small close-knit group of friends…you can relax around these pals and be pretty entertaining, since you see the world in a different and special way… that’s why your posts on the Storm Palace are so great!

Inner harmony is the most important thing to you. You’re sensitive and loyal. You have a strong sense of honor concerning your personal values. You’d rather communicate your feelings in writing…

You do best in a flexible situation where the teacher/collegue takes a personal interest in you…you like to interact with your peers, but not TOO much …you have both creativity and flexibility, and you like that about yourself….you don’t get bogged down by details…your job must be fun and it must be meaningful to you….you don’t wanna feel conspicuous so you’ll sell yourself short just to avoid the spotlight…

You can be a gentle and subtle leader…being indirect and inclusive of others…you don’t confront people head-on, but rather work with ‘em to get the job done….you lead with your values in mind and let these guide you…you don’t like conflict, so you don’t confront situations directly.. you’d rather wait for a situation to work itself out….

Leisure and kickin’ back is really important to you. sometimes it is hard to separate work from play, huh? when you find a new recreational pursuit, you do a lot of reading up on it…most of your leisure things are done alone, like reading, listening to music, and even BBSing….when you want to be sociable, you can be very charming and outgoing..

Love is a very deep commitment to you…it’s not easily attained…you probably pick out flaws or are disappointed when he or she doesn’t match up to your ideal as to what love should be like…first dates are very well set up to make sure everything is taken care of so it can be “just right.” you might have a hard time sharing feelings about others…you tell so many feelings inside that you forget to tell your partner that you love ‘em or whatever….

If the relationship goes bad, you take it to heart, but probably don’t tell many others about it….you have a tendency to overreact, huh? Other things to watch for…don’t get so caught up in your dreams that you don’t consider others’ points-of-view…you might not adjust your vision to the facts of a situation…you may need a “reality check” once in a while… also, don’t try to please everyone and be so hesitant to criticize… don’t delay projects ’cause you’re holding out for perfection…it’s not gonna come…don’t get overly critical because no one matches your perfect ideals… you could lash out and it could get ugly.

INFP: “I Never Find Perfection”

This nightmare occured about 2 days ago, but I thought I’d just finish it off since I’d already written most of it down – and if I took any longer any silk-thin thread from it would have totally disappeared. Perhaps the moral of the story is really not to sleep to much, since I got this after I’d slept for 7 hours for the first time in a long, long time.

So it began as a sneaky return to our half completed future married-life house, and even though it wasn’t done and really wasn’t furnished that well either AND we didn’t have permission to enter the place we decided to have a large party there with many friends, some of whom I was not that familiar with but what the hell, yeah? Time to party and all that – and my family was invited too.

So most of the time was spent walking around the place, milling with people, rubbing shoulders and downing drinks when I walked into our huge walk-in toilet (cum place to chill and have drinks). At that point I realised the bathroom was kinda badly done, with one ledge being somewhat uneven, but then on closer inspection they did install a stopper wall that wasn’t obvious until a different angle. I’m not very good at drawing so I can’t quite explain to you, but just imagine a wall stopping (hence stopper wall) cum deceptively helping to ensure the place works well. Also somehow everybody decided to toss their old clothes into the toilet bowl since there were no pails, and clothes tend to get dirty during a party. If you’re wondering I was having a normal party, nobody was running about nude. Maybe this party had been going on for days, since I recall that it was quite a bit of my and Viv’s clothes. I had to pee in there anyway, so I did. (Didn’t pee myself in real life!) The whole time I was rather worried since we weren’t supposed to be there, and now the laundry all over the place meant that somehow we had to clean it up before the workers returned.

After much food and drinks, the sun was setting, so I went out with Viv to party the night away.

This part is a bit of a blur, but we were trying to get to this club. Over there there was strong police presence, but as we were trying to get in I saw one policeman take out 2 guns, and shot the 2 policemen on each side of him. The policeman then went into the club behind him, presumably to finish off people in that club, at which I shouted for Viv to follow me. I ran ahead, and kept shouting so that she’d know where I was.

Then we decided to go to this rather more ulu pub, which might be safer. On the way there we took a breather at a small park bench, but when we were there I saw a group of 3 men walking purposefully. The lead was holding knives. I quickly grabbed Viv and we dived against a wall so that he couldn’t see us unless he peered over the wall. Then he started throwing knives, hitting 3 people, then he demanded, “you, you and you, I want those knives back.” One of the boys who got hit by the knives got pierced right into the roof of his mouth. I pressed both of us against the wall until we felt it was time to go, at which we crawled to safety.

I seem to recall there was one more incident, involving more violence of some sort, but at any rate we reached the pub. By then Viv was dead tired from all that running and escaping, so we decided to just go back to the hotel to hide it out.

Then, in real life I needed to pee, and so I woke up.