Posted on July 6th, 2008 by Direcow
I’ve held it in for long enough, and it’s time to let it out. All my life I’ve pretty much known myself to be a shuddering, quivering mess of konyaku jello in any form of social situation. Most of the time I cower behind my shield of humour - trying to make people laugh so that they forget all my flaws. AND THAT IS NOT TO BE.
Well, not according to my “friends” at facebook anyway, who have deigned to judge me, scarring me from the depths of my funny bone. I get this email every week, which links to “more details” on facebook itself, but I can’t seem to get to “more details” without having to enslave more people, so I’ll never really know what these people were thinking.
Here’s the weekly summary I get, it doesn’t change much:
STRENGTHS:
most confident
best to hang out with for a day
best listener
WEAKNESSES:
best public speaker
funniest
I don’t get it, really, obviously being the most confident listener in the world obviously makes me a bad speaker - maybe I should stop listening so much and make more jokes so that people will realise I’m somewhat amusing. Facebook be damned!!! (also, those of you who haven’t actually spoken to me more than 5 sentences your entire life… why add me? So… you… can judge me too? T_T)
So, here’s a joke I came up with just last friday… it’s a riddle, really.
Why didn’t the rude boy get a sour drink?
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Posted on June 5th, 2008 by Direcow
I think I’ve found the secret to successful jogging - staying upright. After decades (literally, well, 2) of extreme lower calf pain, possibly due to lack of blood flow or general lack of fitness I’ve discovered a way to allay the pain there until the pain coalesces in my abdomen.
Basically, instead of leaning forward when I jog, I stay as upright as possible.
It just came to me, and it seems to work.I managed to finish my regular route - but without stopping! That’s quite amazing in itself, but I’ll have to admit the pace was slower. Stepping off straight up and using my trailing leg to bring myself forward instead is most likely less optimal than stepping off my toes.
Jogging at night is always a pleasure, even when the weather is humid. It’s the sense of aloneness that gets your foot moving to the next step. Couple that with the fear of being beaten up by a mugger in the shadows (too winded to run away) and that I’m actually awake (vs the morning) I guess what we do have here is
1) more optimal conditions for jogging
2) a very blog post
thank you very much, I’ll be here… yeah.
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Posted on April 11th, 2008 by Direcow
Which, at first try, I spelt as the distant futire, which apparently means anything predictive and satirical. Like William Gibson or Terry Pratchett?
Speaking of satire - I realise I lose all hope for any subtle satire when I wear my “Warning: Very Hot Zone” Tee these days. I guess if I were really fat, and wore that, it would be kinda funny in a self referential “oh I’m fat but I’m sexy” kind of way, go-self-image!, but now that I’ve lost a bit of weight, I look more like a wannabe. Sigh.
I suppose that was a inflated view of my current self, except maybe inflated might not be the right word to use.
—-
Ah, a nice article which refers to why I dislike threadless these days. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from spending during their $5 sales. Sigh, why can’t we geeks have our own turf without everybody else wanting to be cool in it, or make it cool?
The Rise of Fan Glam
“Threadless T-Shirts
It used to be that t-shirts with obscure slogans or rebus-like jokes on them marked their wearers as socially marginal and perhaps unhealthily obsessed with cultural arcana. Now internet company Threadless has turned such t-shirts into fan glam (see one of their glammy shirts below). Each shirt the company makes features a design submitted by a member of the site, which other members vote to have printed. Basically, it’s Digg for t-shirts, which translates into mass-produced dorkery, with an emphasis on “mass” rather than “dork.”
Any authentic nerdy t-shirts left? Any Dragon*Con shirt was and will always remain authentic.”
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Posted on March 22nd, 2008 by Direcow
Below I outline the dreams strung fresh from the madness addled brain of yours truly. Like the fractured existence of our dreams, the following post shall live shattered, gaping holes remaining where only guesswork can provide a structure that will provide respite from its hollow insanity.
Dream part 1 - this occurred possibly one or 2 mornings ago.
remember someone close to me was getting married, but had gone on a trip back to melbourne and was shot there
much grieving, groom went back to melbourne
continuation part 2. - the dreams following this line occurred both this morning, the second was after I had breakfast and took a nap (Argh, FAT!!!)
viv and i were off to paris after getting very cheap one way tickets
arrived at her relatives’ house, one of them was standing outside with earphone and a huge machine he was swinging around- he was listening out for dust mites to catch them - dust mites being green and yellow and red in colour, quite iridescent
but so many of them! kill kill!
someone approached me out of the blue and revealed that since i had not bought return tickets i had done something illegal, and so i had to declare my return tickets soon
told viv, so i ran to look for viv and then we found a computer which was sadly running some very lousy OS that looked like windows, but probably ran on linux. impossible to get it to work properly, so I went and got pete to come and help us (?!)
by then the computer was fixed
then something happened which escapes me, but then again my sanity was escaping
was feeling a little lost during a gathering, everybody seemed to be happy
suddenly i remembered them, why was everybody so happy?
then I saw the groom, he was seated between 2 people, and he was sweating quite badly, but also looking very sad. maybe because I had never seen him cry so the dream state failed to fill in the blanks
then i woke up - it’s a little scary after all
then part 3.
was already on the run, so i guess we didn’t get the tickets home?
ended up in this sprawling shopping center place
i know there was some walking around involved, then i had to change into something but I had a lot of trouble finding a place to place my thick winter jacket in a very very dirty and grimey toilet.
I can’t remember what happened next, but
we’ve been hired by a casino/arcade like place that’s at one end of the mall
viv’s been given a cabaret style outfit with huge feathers, except most of the other girls got a white lycra 2 piece thing with little silver sequins of various (small, lack of material) sizes.
so i walk to the toilet to change, and I walk past the hairdressers’ that had a huge “DIY” sign over it. It got me chuckling, so I woke up.
Anybody care to figure out what it all means? Maybe I need a holiday.
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Filed under: General
Posted on March 14th, 2008 by Direcow
I guess one thing I really miss about the phone is checking it for messages from Viv right before I go to sleep. Also, it’s been my clock and my alarm and my calculator and my camera, so all that is lacking right now.
Strangely, I don’t mind not having the call and sms function THAT much, but it does make life quite a bit inconvenient.
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